You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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