Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
