that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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