I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
