Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
