Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
In America we eat man semen.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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