Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
