i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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