I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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