this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
