Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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