she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
