I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
