He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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