My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
