did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
