His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
