Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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