It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
