my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
