The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
