Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
