i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
