Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
