No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
