So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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