Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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