We're like a lot better than the average bears
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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