Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
