Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
