I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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