Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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