I want you more than these girls want KFC
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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