I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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