I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
