i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
