Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
