yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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