So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
