similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
