4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
