apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
