Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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