is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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