dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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