I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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