I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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