She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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