I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
