I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
