just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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